Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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