just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
