Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
