Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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