just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
His nipple licking is glorious
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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