Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
