Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
