But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize