sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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