Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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