am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
