Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
