i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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