i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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