his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
