remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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