oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
