let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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