Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
