We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
