She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
