You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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