Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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