first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Randomize
