barbara walters just said penis...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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