Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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