i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
