He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
