just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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