im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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