Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
