At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
