I don't usually arrange sex via text message
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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