My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
