okay pat passed out under dana's car
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
