Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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