Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
