Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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