She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
This is classic penis vs brain.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
