everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
