Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
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