I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize