But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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