He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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