It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
