god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
