I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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