She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
