When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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