I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
