Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
